Ian Miller.
And where do you get off popping off about stuff, Mister?
I don't know. It's a free country. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia. I'll do what I want. You're not the boss of me.
Married or single?
Happily married since 1990.
1990? You must be hella-old.
34.
So you've been married since you were 21?!? Where are you from, West Virginia?
Nope. Connecticut.
Kids?
Nah. No plans. Too much work.
And how do you support your lovely wife and no kids?
I'm a writer/editor and a musician.
So you live in San Francisco now?
San Francisco? Hell no. Oakland.
Right. Weren't you in some lame bands back in the day?
Yep. All You Can Eat, Hoodlum Empire, Skankin' Pickle, and Redemption 87.
And do you play in any lame bands at the moment?
I've got some irons in the fire. I play bass in The Hills Have Eyes and another band called Supercast.
Whatever. It seems like you watch way too much TV. What's that all about?
I really don't watch all that much TV. I try not to miss the Daily Show, Sopranos, and Malcolm in the Middle. I do watch a lotta movies, though, in the theaters and on DVD.
Favorite movie?
Hmmm. That's a tough one. Star Wars? Miller's Crossing? I don't know. That's too hard.
OK, here's an easy one: boxers or briefs?
Neither. Bikinis. Nah, I'm just kidding. Boxer-briefs.
I understand you're vegan. What's your problem?
No problem. I just love animals, and I'd rather not eat them. Pretty simple, really.
I suppose you're straight edge too, right?
Yep. For 16 years. True 'til death.
That is so typical. Any last words?
I guess not. Thanks for your time.
Whatever.
