Forewarned is four-armed.
So this non-blog is on a semiofficial hiatus as of today, at least through the end of this week, and possibly until after the Thanksgiving holiday. Family business to attend to back East this week, then off to Texas for Tofurky day.
In the meantime, if you get desperate for new content, you can peruse the blawg archives; check out my handiwork on musicrag; or peep the myriad links in the right bar, which have recently been refreshed and improved. In any event, I shall return, renewed and refreshed, after Thanksgiving. Or sooner.
In other news ...
Tracy and I dragged our sick asses out to see The Mars Volta the other night, and I'm damn glad we did, even if I'm paying for it now. Live they had all the frenetic energy of At the Drive-In, but the sound was more dubby, without being downtempo. OK, that didn't make any sense at all. Allow me to try again.
The Mars Volta = heavy, jazzy, live drum 'n' bass beats + dub-style bass + Fender Rhodes riffing + Omar's heavily effected guitar histrionics + Cedric's irresistible rock 'n' roll swagger and singing. Does that make any sense at all? In any event, they were incredible.
We left before the Anniversary came on, partially because I was (and am) still sick as a dog, but also because we were terrified of their fans. I've never seen so many indier-than-thou pseudo-arty hipster freaks in my whole life. Lots of not-cute girls with short-cropped black hair and the Banana-Republic-wearing men who love them ... at least until they figure out they don't like women. It was horrendous.
The kicker came just as The Mars Volta finished their all-too-brief 25-minute set. My jaw was still on the floor, and Tracy overhears one of the guys in front of us say, "Oh my God, those guys were terrible! I can't believe the Anniversary is even touring with them!!"
And that was my cue to get the hell outta there. ßßß
The Umbrella: A Critical Look
As the first winter storm of the season pummeled the Bay Area yesterday, I asked myself as I trudged through the downpour and got soaked to the skin, "Is the umbrella really the best we can do?"
The umbrella has been with us, in more or less its current state, for more than 3,400 years. You can't look me in the eye and tell me that no one, in the intervening 3,000-plus years, has come up with a better mousetrap? Or, in this case, rain shield? This smacks of a conspiracy.
Perhaps as the Big 3 automakers attempted to dismantle the burgeoning electric car industry, a powerful umbrella manufacturer's cartel thwarts every attempt to improve upon the ancient and uneffective parasol. Perhaps a highly placed and effective umbrella lobby stamps out any legislation that might threaten the umbrella's stranglehold. What other explanation is there??
A dubiously collapsible handle, some metal splines that collapse in the slightest breeze, and some fabric that tears given any provocation at all. It all adds up to a big, awkward, never-quite-dry mess that is ill-suited for the task at hand. And don't even get me started on the distinct lack of umbrella etiquette. If I had a nickel for even time I've nearly had an eye removed by a careless umbrella wielder, I'd be Bill fucking Gates.
We deserve better than this, people. All respect due to the Chinese or the Egyptians or the Phoenicians or whoever the hell came up with the thing in the first place, but it's three-and-a-half millennia later. We can put men on the moon, bomb the shit out of people from entire continents away, and convince millions of people that NASCAR is a sport, and yet the best we can do to repel the rain is the lowly umbrella?
I beseech you, people, fellow citizens of Earth, there must be a better way. Take to your drawing boards like modern-day da Vincis and come up with something else that will keep me dry. Anything is better than the odious umbrella. Thank you in advance. ßßß
A moment-by-moment recap of the last 12 hours of my life.
I truly hope your day is going better than mine so far. ßßß
Don't miss last week's brilliant insight.
