I received this electronic communication from Jonathan Reiner, who had this to say for himself:
In other news, there are some weird goings-on in the music world. And I'm not just referring to Elton and Eminem. Another potentially bizarre pairing has former Soundgarden frontman and Robert Plant impersonator Chris Cornell rehearsing with Rage Against the Machine. That's a thought too bizarre to contemplate.
And my dream of auditioning for Metallica will have to wait at least until April, when they say they'll start looking for a new bassist. Oh God, let it be me.
And now, the news. Scoop Casey is on assignment back East, but he filed this report before he left on Thursday. Scoop?
<START>
<Nothing happened on Thursday, right?>
<Scoop Casey's Bonus Employment Coverage, with Alternate Headlines>
The Grammys were a horrifying spectacle. Like an idiot, I started watching the pre-show with
Leah Remini, Tony Danza and a couple of brain-dead VH1 VJs. Jesus, it was like watching a car wreck. Between the VH1 stewardesses not being able to form complete sentences, Tony Danza offering profound Eminem-related social commentary ("In my day, I loved the Temptations. What if instead of having a song called 'My Girl,' they had a song called 'Kill My Girl'? Huh? What would I have done?"), and the brain-dead "talent," it was a travesty of a sham of a mockery.
The awards themselves were pretty silly, especially Steely Dan winning Album of the Year. That's as bad as Jethro Tull beating Metallica for heavy metal performer of the year. At least the Eminem/Elton John duet lived up to the hype. I think Eminem is a lot shrewder than most folks give him credit for, too.
Some guy named Jonathan Reiner is cyberstalking me. He said if I mentioned him he would stop. I've kept up my end of the bargain.
As much as I hate to admit it, MTV is starting to suck less. There was a new Jackass on Sunday, the first one in a long time, and it was off the heezy. I was laughing and coughing and crying all at once. I hope those guys are making a lot of freakin' money. God knows they're earning it. [Real Media clip]
Plus, now MTV has Kathy's So-Called Reality, where Kathy Griffin dishes on all the reality shows. Much like Talk Soup, this show makes the shows it talks about extraneous. Because really, if you're watching Survivor, you don't care about the first 55 minutes, do you? All you care about is who gets axed. So just watch Kathy instead. Because she's hot.
And the Andy Dick show starts on the 28th on MTV. Be afraid. Be very afraid. ßßß
Ugh. Back at work today, and I really have no business being here. Oh well, nothing that manly doses of O.J. and pseudoephedrine can't handle. Did you know pseudoephedrine is a methamphetamine precursor? Damn straight. Just reduce it with some hydriodic acid, and, well, there you have it.
This guy has a link to blawg from his site. It's a damn fine blog, so I thought I'd return the favor. So check it out.
Saw yet another documentary last night. God bless IFC and Sundance Channel, by the way. It's called The Target Shoots First, and it's about an NYC philosophy grad student that goes to work for Columbia House. Somehow he got permission to videotape his entire career there, and the film is compiled from random moments of his employment. Very self-serving, but pretty interesting to me from a music-industry standpoint. I give it three stars, but a qualified three stars, as the general public is not likely to enjoy it quite so much as me.
According to MTV, "Nothing says 'hip' like an MTV.com e-mail address." And apparently "YOU can get your very own MTV email address for FREE!" Here are some of the addresses I tried to register, without success:
mtv_is_satan@mtv.com
mtv_eats_it@mtv.com
mtveatsit@mtv.com
mtv_sucks@mtv.com
mtvsucks@mtv.com
bill_gates@mtv.com
mtv_is_devil@mtv.com
mtv_sucks_666@mtv.com
mtvi_layoffs@mtv.com
sonicnet_layoffs@mtv.com
vh1andmtvareawful@mtv.com
mtviskillingmusic@mtv.com
mtv_kills_music@mtv.com
wherearethevideos@mtv.com
Here are some of the addresses that were available:
mtv_sucks1@mtv.com
mtv_sucks_1@mtv.com
1mtvsucks@mtv.com
wherearethevideos1@mtv.com
m_t_v_sucksass@mtv.com
m_t_v_sucks_ass@mtv.com
aoltimewarner@mtv.com
unholyviacombeast@mtv.com
I actually registered the last four addresses. If anybody wants one to perpetrate subversive activities with, email me. I'll let ya have one. ßßß
Well, there's nothing like a motherscratcher of a flu and a three-day weekend to get you ahead of the Netflix game. Here I was, wondering where I was gonna find the time to watch all these DVDs, what with my busy schedule and all. Little did I know that that's all I'd be doing for three straight days. I think I'm on the other side of it now, but Sunday night I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. Muscle aches the like of which I haven't experienced since double-days of football practice in high school. My fever finally broke late Sunday night/early Monday morning, and I was crying for my mammy. What a mess.
But on to the business at hand: sharing with you all my movie reviews from my flu-ridden holiday weekend.
The Way of the Gun
The directorial debut of the guy that wrote The Usual Suspects. Sadly, this anatomy of a heist film doesn't approach the greatness of Suspects, but it was still pretty good. Understated, brooding performances from Del Toro and Caan push this from a strong 3 to a solid 4 stars.
Mr. Death
A sumptuous-looking documentary chronicling the fate of one Fred A. Leuchter, manufacturer of execution equipment-cum-Holocaust-revisionist. An extraordinary tale that has to be seen to be believed. I am, however, troubled by director Errol Morris's use of reenactment footage during the course of the movie. It's not billed as such, and makes me wonder about what other aspects of the story were "manipulated." Worthy of four stars nonetheless.
The Source
This disjointed Chuck Workman documentary intends to show how the Beat poets are the wellspring of all things good in modern American culture. Uh, yeah. Partially salvaged by lots of archival footage of Burroughs, Kerouac and Ginsberg, et al, and by dramatic readings by Dennis Hopper (Burroughs), Johnny Depp (Kerouac), and John Turturro (Ginsberg). Three stars only. And they're lucky to get those.
The World Is Not Enough
Are the Bond franchisees even trying anymore? This film rehashes moments from other Bond movies (ski chases, submarine stuff, etc.) and throws it all in a blender. Barely stayed awake during it. Oh, and this just in: Denise Richards cannot act. At all.
Payback
Damned if I didn't watch this movie again, all the way through. Hands down the most underrated movie in modern memory. Dark, disturbing, violent, tender at times, violent (Did I already say violent?t) — and just wonderful. From its creepy-looking Gotham City set to its creepy Central Casting bad guys to its creepy blue-black '60s look and feel, Payback is a winner. And to think, they could have all saved themselves a whole lot of trouble by just giving the guy his 70 large. If you haven't seen this movie, see it. I defy you to not enjoy it. The full boat of five stars is warranted here.
Collectors
Yes, another documentary. This one's about those strange characters who buy, sell and collect art by serial killers. And they're not the ghouls you'd expect them to be — or at least they don't look like that on the surface. The two guys this film focuses on are bright, articulate, and passionate about their hobby. Victims' rights advocates are interviewed too, which makes for a balanced-looking account, although it would seem that the filmmaker is aligning himself more with the collectors. What a documentary should be: an in-depth, even-handed accounting of a compelling topic. A solid four stars.
Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer
Oh, no! Not another Nick Broomfield documentary! Yes, I'm afraid so. I was pleasantly surprised by this one, though: In this film, Broomfiled actually interviewed people connected with the subject of the film, and even the subject herself. Although, like all his documentaries, this film is more about the cult of celebrity in America than the alleged subject. But Broomfield did do his homework, and was instrumental in uncovering some collusion between the police and Wuornos' accomplice. A strong three- to weak four-star effort.
The Death of Dale Earnhardt
Although I'm not a NASCAR fan, this was still fairly interesting to me. The whole thing though, where he dies in the last turn of the last lap, was kind of unbelievable, and the crash itself wasn't at all spectacular. Shoulda been better — two stars. ßßß
Don't miss last week's brilliant insight.
